Se-cret Span-ish /ˈsēkrit/ /ˈspaniSH/ NOUN. 1. When you don't look like you could be hispanic and you overhear someone talking about you so you respond in Spanish and blow their mind. "Comics will tell tales about times they had to use their Secret Spanish on unsuspecting strangers." Storytellers: Emily Winter Abby Feldman Diego Lopez Elise Valderrama Jon Lissman and your host Omar Capra!